The ‘Truth’ About Tobacco and Other Adorable Lies

Warning: No beagles, monkeys, nor rodents Ever contracted lung cancer from systematically exposing them to tobacco products, so just go on and have a nice day.” Wouldn’t this message from our Surgeon General be a refreshing way to open a fresh    pack of smokes? Of course it would, especially because it’s the truth.

This writing isn’t really about the rightness or wrongness of tobacco use, rather it’s intention is to serve as a reminder of the most important power we as citizens and consumers equally share; our freedom. If we are free to think and believe whatever we wish, why do we give this right away so often and so easily? Why do we zombie walk through life with our eyes wide shut?

I remember when I was first exposed to the truth behind the truth about tobacco. I was so intrigued, Alice couldn’t be more curious! I read everything I could get my hands on upon the subject. I couldn’t believe how much information was at my fingertips, but mostly I couldn’t believe that so many of us were not informed nor willing to be informed.

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Life Whispering 101

They call me…

  “The Life Whisperer”

(Okay, no they don’t… but you can if you want to.)

I want to show YOU how to be your very own Life Whisperer!

There is much talk of experiencing an epiphanous “Aha Moment”.

Well, I never had one and that just pissed me right off because it leads one to feelings of  inadequacy as it begs the question;  ”What the hell is wrong with me?

Thanks Oprah… for nothin.

And then it happened to me.

Too many events have conspired together to bring on this Eureka Moment for me to ignore or to toss to the random dogs of coincidence.

Being the contemplative sort, I’ve spent years pondering on just how to get through this thick skull of mine, trying everything and anything to release this potential I knew was inside, but something always seemed to get in my way.

I knew it was myself, and that just exacerbated my already existing state of pissed-off-ness.

As superfluous as the voices for “Aha Moments” are at present, the decibels reached for the “Subconscious Mind” are even louder.

The subconscious mind is being touted as the enemy, a sort of mysterious Hitler in your Head that controls over 90% of what you do or do not accomplish in life, with the emphasis on the later.

I am not a proponent of much of the current views, as it implies that we are, in a word: Screwed.

The statistics of such a high percentage of how out of control we are of our minds sits heavily in our hearts, giving us the illusion that we are destined to zombie walk through life, cutting our feet on the shards of our broken dreams and forced to forever carry the dull weight of our confirmed powerlessness upon our already heavy laden backs.

[Give me a sec... gotta catch my breath... long sentences take the wind out of me... K, I'm back.]

It would appear that there is little to be done about it… unless we pull a Byron Katie/ Eckhart Tolle and get up-graded to Buddha status over night.

This would imply, to the conscious mind, that there is a divided selectiveness about life that doles out its limited supply of Graces upon the favored and the few.

Not So!

So, what was this catalyst that broke through to greater awareness and self mastery?

I got a puppy.

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Got Love?

“That’s it! I’m done!”

I remember saying these words, (originally with more emphasis on superlatives.) I meant it, I was no longer going to pursue any sort of romantic relationships… ever. I wasn’t broken hearted or sad, I was just done with caring for it.

It was now the time for me to just live my life and have the best of times with my best of friends. I was fed up with this insane idea that I could not find happiness without a man to pave the way. And damn it, if I didn’t meet my husband of 16 years exactly two weeks after I made this ballsy announcement.

How dare he! He comes waltzing into my club with my friends, and my bartenders and crushes my perfectly precise pronouncement to the universe with his singular subtle glance. Darn! Darn! Darn!

Those eyes… like soft pastle wedding mints, that just melt in your mouth.

Did I just say ‘Wedding’? What am I doing? I’ll tell you what… I’m walking up to his buddy and now I’m saying something ridiculous; “Hey, who’s your friend?” Really? For the love of all that’s good what was I doing?… I didn’t know.

He saunters over all smug and confident because he knows what I’ve done, the nerve of some people, I mean really. So we danced all night and I married him three months later.

The odds were against us from the start. I was 34 and he was 22. (Jezabelle!) You can imagine how well that went over with his mother, as was only seven years my senior, I might add.  And also, we were pregnant. Yes, at the wedding. Oh! Damnation’s!

The fairytale is fractured form the get-go and, as it turns out, I am a crazy person whilst pregnant. Yea, didn’t know that could happen! What to expect when your expecting: There’s a good chance that your evil twin will arise and of losing your friggin mind!          That’s what you can expect.

Bottom line; I hated him… a lot. The worst part was that I didn’t understand what was happening to me, I just thought I was an aweful person in an aweful marriage. On our first year anniversary I became pregnant again with baby number two. I cried of the overwhelm and of the knowing that the Someone Wicked This Way Comes. Crazy person alert! I was a seathing mess of hormones and hostility. And just what do you think that husband of mine did? He stayed… Ken stayed.

I tried so very hard to push him away, after all, this wasn’t what Disney said it would be like. I’d already seen my mother marry three times over and all to tumble to the same disasterous ends. Love never lasts, it barely begins.

The years flew by and somehow we kept it together. Each year I renewed my resolve to leave him with a promise I made to myself, “Just one more year, and if things don’t change…” However, this resolve seemed to magically slip my mind with every passing year.

We both adored our daughters and couldn’t bare to see them end up in the middle of our disfunctional difficulties. And then one day something happened, something miraculous, something that triggered a new clarity in my mind.

I had been a frequent flyer to the E.R. and sometimes I was even upgraded to hopsital beds. This kept my husband and I always on the alert to a run for the car keys. On one such run I stopped and I noticed, for the first time, that the constant companion in my most distressing of moments is always… Ken.

It hit me, it hit me poignantly. Here is this man that is always by my side, regardless of the distance I placed between us, he naturally bridged himself to me with his unconditional love, every time without exasperation or complaint.

I wondered, “Who is this man that is ever constant, ever true, and always by my side?” He is my husband, he is my dearest friend.

The true beauty of a love that is authentic became sweeter than the shallow imaginings of Princes who save. I realized I was holding on to the dreaming of love and resisting the reality of it. This resistance, combined with taking my Prince for granted was the source of my pain.

When I allowed this deeper love into my mind and witnessed its effects on our marriage, we began to live happily ever after.

And as for the saving?… Well, that turned out to be my job all along.




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Are You Done Waiting To Be Happy?

Happiness is...

A Warm Gun or a Charley Brown episode?

Depends… do we believe that ‘if such and such wasn’t here’ life would be grand or do we believe that it is only found in over simplified concepts through animated caricatures, aka, stories and fairy tales?

Don’t you get sick of people telling you that happiness is a matter of choice?

Damned positive pesties!

I know what it’s like to want and want and want without ever seeing the beloved wanted-ness anywhere. Where the hell is all that cool stuff we’ve been wanting to make us friggin happy?!

No one wants to hear some crap about being happy with what we have in our lives right now.

“So, shits goin down but I should just smile and let that be just so freaking okay? No, not just ‘okay’, I should smile while I’m doing those dishes!”

I get that. It’s rather irritating to have some Pollyanna-feel-good-about-your-crappy-life speech.

Well, here it comes:

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How to Let Go of Worry

Have you ever woken up and had that feeling?…                                                      

you know, the one that feels like…


I had suffered from anxiety for many years, and I’m here to tell you it’s not fun in the least.

However, I’ve learned something by having this ‘disorder’, (label-hater)… it’s NOT REAL.

“I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.” -Mark Twain

Realizing this has brought me many insights, by questioning my reality/beliefs. Questions like; “if this feeling isn’t real, then what is?”

Many years of introspection, study, and questioning have brought me to a place, within myself, where I am at peace most of the time.

Funny how our horrific experiences prepare us to be open to some wondrous truths, truths that can help keep us sane… well, as sane as a human can be.

What Worked for Me

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The Key to Unlocking Your Wealth

I Found The Key!

I have spent many a year trying to figure out “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Try as I might I never seemed to find a way to get more of the 4 Squares into my life.

The ’4 Squares’ is a concept that was coined by the late Florence Scovel Shinn in her ground breaking book; ‘The Game of Life and How to Play it’

Shinn speaks of the four things we human beings need… not a ‘want’… to become happy, well rounded, and satisfied people. These four are considered paramount to the happiness of the species, and they are as follows; Health, Wealth, Love, and Perfect Self Expression.

“So your saying these are basic human needs?” Yes.

Hmmm… it’s interesting to ponder these four items, isn’t it?… What, with nobody having them and all. We’d consider an individual damned lucky to obtain even one of them!

If these 4 squares are so basic to human happiness why don’t we see them in droves all around us, on the daily, and more importantly, why don’t we have it? (Couldn’t we just start with 2 of them and go on from there?… sort of a test drive… Oh, and can we pick which 2 to start with?)

That brings me to this little key I found, and I believe it may be the key to the undoing of much of life’s little Crappinesses… eses.

Shall I continue?

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How To Improve Your Memory

“Remember that guy?… you know, the one with the dark curly hair that we met at the pier when we were on spring break in 81?”

…uuuhhh… No.

Who care about something so long ago? Right?

Truth?… I could hardly remember what I had for breakfast let alone some person I met a week ago!

Forgetting a persons name is such a blow to another individual and it makes us feel like idiots when we do it.

We hate it when that happens!

We sit and wonder how we could be so smart in certain areas and simultaneously stupid in others.


Remembering is not about smarts,

it’s about  paying attention and organizing your memory files.

I have some mind games for babysitting the brain and I intend to pass them on to you.

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My Fab 5 Anti-Aging Secrets

This is gonna sound Blasphemous!

My Mama told me something that hit me like a ton of bricks…

I will never forget it.

Recently I went to visit her after many years of being separated by

many miles of highway.

Just let me tell you upfront, my mother is a woman of profound wisdom and

out of the blue insights.

There we were enjoying the short time we had together spurting out stories

and catching up on all-the-info when she says to me:

“You know that Gods name is ‘I Am’… and when you say ‘I am ugly, bad, stupid’, etc…

you are in actuality taking Gods name in vain.”

POW! Right in the Kisser!

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