you know, the one that feels like…
I had suffered from anxiety for many years, and I’m here to tell you it’s not fun in the least.
However, I’ve learned something by having this ‘disorder’, (label-hater)… it’s NOT REAL.
“I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.” -Mark Twain
Realizing this has brought me many insights, by questioning my reality/beliefs. Questions like; “if this feeling isn’t real, then what is?”
Many years of introspection, study, and questioning have brought me to a place, within myself, where I am at peace most of the time.
Funny how our horrific experiences prepare us to be open to some wondrous truths, truths that can help keep us sane… well, as sane as a human can be.
What Worked for Me
‘Luckily’, I was brave enough (OK… I was kicking and screaming) to leave my ‘Childhood God’ in search of my own truth. That was probably the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done for myself.
Usually I would do what I thought I SHOULD do… for everyone else.
Now, I’m not saying you need to kick your beloved beliefs to the curb, I’m letting you in on a personal experience that helped me reassess my ‘reality’ and how I made it more beautiful by letting go of what didn’t work anymore.
For example: Fearing a God that was supposed to love me because ‘He-was-a-gonna-kicka-my-butta-if-I-wasn’t-perfecta’ didn’t sit well with me.
I preferred the idea of an unconditionally loving being, just weird like that.
We all have beliefs that we’ve grown up with that we know we’ve grown out of. And I’m here to tell you, it’s okay to let them go.
Letting go of shit seems too hard, but that is the only an illusion and it’s also the only way, it gets easier with time… and not very much time either.
Many years ago I read the old classic, ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’ by Dale Carnegie.
One phrase always stuck in my mind; ‘Live in Air-Tight Compartments’, or something to that effect, meaning; to live one day, one hour, one minute at a time without the interruption of the next thing you might find to worry, think, or focus on, via the past or future.
This is a completely sane way to take on life. We are only here RIGHT NOW. There is no such thing as the past or the future, only IDEAS of them. Even as you read this the moments are slipping away, and now it’s the next moment and the next… etc.
Remember the movie ‘Signs’ from M Night Shyamalan that was released in 2002?
I love the the tinfoil cone hats! But I digress… what I wanted to bring to your remembrance was the very basis of what the film was implying with quotes:
“There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?”
… no, that’s not it, let’s try…
“Everybody in this family needs to just calm down and eat some fruit or something.”
… nope, how’bout…
“People break down into two groups when the experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching over them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just happy chance. And surely, the people in Group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in very suspicious way. For them, the situation is fifty-fifty. Could be bad, Could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they’re on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there’s a whole lot of people in the Group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they’re looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever’s going to happen, there will be someone their to help them. And that fills them with hope. So what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you: are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?”
To free yourself from worry/fear is to find what it is that you have faith in and build upon that. (Nobody wants to say this out loud these days because of ‘issues we have with beliefs’, or rather, ‘issues we have with others beliefs.’)
“Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.” -Mark Twain
This new mindset alone is at the root of all else that will serve to ease the nerves.
Relaxation techniques and exercise are great for the body and nerves, but the root of all fear is a lack of faith, aka… Having and Placing ALL Trust in Something Bigger than Yourself.
Human beings don’t just create/follow religions for shits and gigs, it’s an innate need. Why? Who knows, but there it is.
Faith?… faith in what? That is for you to discover, only you can know what works for you.
Another fab quote from my fav, Mark Twain:
“Spiritual wants and instincts are as various in the human family as are physical appetites, complexions, and features, and a man is only at his best, morally, when he is equipped with the religious garment whose color and shape and size most nicely accommodate themselves to the spiritual complexion, angularities, and stature of the individual who wears it.”
For example, I started where I was. I was raised a Christian, so parts of that suited me. I grew to love the eastern religions and their philosophical concepts along with other ideas that jibed with me… I put it all in the mixing bowl and called it ‘Kim’s Beliefs for Now.’
This is a lifetime process, as we evolve so do our beliefs.
Feed Your Head!
I can only express or teach what I know personally, so here are some places I’ve been that have been the most beneficial… BOOKS.
Thousands of years of many more thousands of experiences are found in books.
For your relationship piss-offs; ‘Loving What Is’ – Byron Katie
For realizing (not the same as knowing) all that you already have and to create more of what you want; ‘The Magic’ – Rhonda Byrne
For concerns with Safety, Sin, and possibly the mind of the Universe; ‘A Course In Miracles’
For a simple overview of how things might be; ”The Game of Life and How To Play It’ Florence Scovel Shinn
Doesn’t matter, start somewhere. I have wondered the isles of the nearest Barnes & Nobles and just picked up books that felt cool and read them. Sweet finds!
Note: Sometimes our chemistry can play tricks on us, if you know anyone going through menopause you now how true this is. Be sure to take care of chemical issues that may be making you nervous.
Some natural help could be found with passion flower, kava, or a big fat glass of wine!
To your peace of mind,
…And yes, I love Mark Twain.